Poopetrator of the worst kind

I don't have a car these days, so walking is my main means of getting around this city. Lately I've been pretty surprised at all the dog poo covering the streets. Now I really just have to say; "what a load of crap"!

To those who are the culprits: please, please pick up these turds. It is your civic duty, as a pet owner, after all. There's nothing funny or arty about leaving your dog's-do on the pavement; no matter how sloppy, sculpturally gestural, or aromatically interesting it is. At a stretch it is just thought provoking - it makes everyone stop aghast and question "who is this cretin?"

Leaving dog crap in the open public spaces is simply a blatant statement about your slovenly behaviour and total lack of social conscience. Don’t you know, leaving your puppy’s calling card actually tells us more about YOU than your canine companion? You can’t fool me…

You are the dog owner who: lives in an apartment where pets are not allowed; are too lazy or forget to walk it EVERY day; in the ‘uselessly hectic’ lifestyle you lead, running from home, to work, to gym, to trendy restaurants and cocktail bars around town, you might give your poor, sulking critter a 5 minute wander around the block; you say you love your doggy, but you spend more time on Twitter and Instagram seeking validation from your 700 followers than giving little Fluffy-wuff a bath yourself - instead  you spend a fortune primping and styling your mutt for the act of holding up the thin veneer of your own image strutting the streets.

May I suggest that this doggy demeanor of dumping in the middle of the footpath is perhaps a cry for attention from your furry friend? Get off your mobile phone, turn around and pay attention for a change you ‘poop-ertrator’! Or, hey here’s an idea – walk another 1 minute to the park where dogs love frolicking and happily crap in the convenient vicinity of a bag dispenser!!

Well, to you, selfish dog-do-generate, my hope is that one day soon you stumble home in a drunken stupor, only to tread full-footed in a pile of steaming stench and unaware, make it home to smear your plush carpet from one end of your designer apartment to the other.

Maybe then you’ll wake up and realize what a big, hot, stinky, smudge on society you’ve been?